I feel accepted. The lights, the music. Doesn't hurt that I'malways 'x'ing when I'm here.The first floor is the dance floor, lots of sofa space and four bars.Grooving along, happy as a clam, suddenly I hear "Hey_" Took me a secondbut I realized it was Laura, Sara's best friend or at least she was a fewyears back. Apparently they had some falling out. Sara doesn't say much about it. Sucks not being able to ask her why. As they air kiss and chat, I start to wonder if it's a little weird that Ican't say why? I mean I guess it is, but not really. She's right. I'mnever satisfied because I'm always asking 'why' "Not everything has tohave an answer. Haven't you ever heard 'it is what it is'? Asking 'why'all the time only keeps you from knowing the truth. Makes you a lawyer nota believer," she tells me.Sara has been teaching me meditation techniques and they all start withclearing the mind. I find that so hard. Sara explains it to me that I havea hard time quieting my mind because its always. There was nothingI could do to help him, because I was being kept on a different unit.He don't talk about it, but I know that experience changed Billy. Madehim a little crazier than he already was."I didn't know how to characterize Dana's attempt to defend Brogan. Wasit reflective of empathy or dysfunction. Probably both I guessed.There was only one thing I knew for certain and that was I had to getaway from both of them.Munson's house wasn't far away--just a few minutes drive through windingside streets. When we got there, Brogan went over the ground rules forthe evening again. "You'll do whatever I say, hang all over me, andsmile like you like it," he summarized. "If you fuck up just once,you'll be sorry."The small house was already packed with teenagers that had been lured bytalk of the ample supply of beer that Munson managed to procure. Broganentered the place, swaggering with bravadaccio. He quickly slipped anarm around each of us when we were through the doorway, so.
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